I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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