how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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