I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize