it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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