I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
