She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
