There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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