Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
