the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
