Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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