why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize