Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
