you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize