what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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