you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.