I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
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I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
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If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.