We're facebook friends in real life
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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