if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
