Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize