Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
