I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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