HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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