This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
