omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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