i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
