Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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  (808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/mtia
  Replies (12) Good night (1291) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  at least we're not in new jersey

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  (612): i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale (401): at least we're not in new jersey http://tfl.nu/f78q
  Replies (59) Good night (731) Bad night (1587)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

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  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3422) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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  (805): It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!" http://tfl.nu/5h66
  Replies (38) Good night (7158) Bad night (700)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

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  (864): you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night http://tfl.nu/m2bf
  Replies (13) Good night (9751) Bad night (659)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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  (913): girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class http://tfl.nu/grnd
  Replies (20) Good night (6348) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?

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  (608): do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life? http://tfl.nu/au0e
  Replies (13) Good night (5038) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?

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  (623): His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me? http://tfl.nu/w4b8
  Replies (15) Good night (6699) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.

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  (207): Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present. http://tfl.nu/yqaq
  Replies (21) Good night (4351) Bad night (1164) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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  (610): Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity http://tfl.nu/heka
  Replies (12) Good night (1140) Bad night (3650) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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  (913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e
  Replies (10) Good night (2199) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.

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  (850): The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc. http://tfl.nu/3vm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1705) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey

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  (845): You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey http://tfl.nu/3j62
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.

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  (312): Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag. http://tfl.nu/6eu4
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me

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  (360): it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me http://tfl.nu/wv06
  Replies (1) Good night (149) Bad night (290) Order T-Shirt

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