your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?