is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help