So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
