and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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