love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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