I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize