happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.