I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors