Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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