you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
