Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
