i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
