Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize