Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
