I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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