just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize