talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
