girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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