Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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