its not stalking. its research.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
