I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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