I'm really into asian looking animals
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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