and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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