Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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