we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize