dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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