If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize