you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He? As in you personified your dick?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
